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streetlevel
03
Oct. 2000, Xene #18
What's it like being married to
a non-Japanese man?
外国人と結婚した日本人女性に聞きました。外国人男性との結婚で気付いたことは？
Married to an American
Just after we married, I asked my husband for
advice in raising a child, working and other
issues. But he told me to decide by myself.
At that time, I thought he was such a coldhearted
person. After I got used to it, I felt comfortable.
He is very strict with children, which I didn't
expect at all before we had a child. America
is a culture where people say yes and no very
clearly, so maybe people clearly say yes and
no to a child also. Many Japanese housewives
often ask me if we teach our children English
at home. I have been asked this question so
many times. It really annoys me now.
アメリカ人と結婚した女性
夫婦になったばかりの頃、子育てや仕事のことを彼に相談しても、自分で決めるように言われたんです。なんて冷たい人だろうと思いましたね。でも慣れると気楽です。子供のしつけはとても厳しいですね。もっと子供に甘いと思っていました。やはりYes、
No がはっきりしている文化だから、子供にもYes、Noがはっきりしているのかも・・・。よく、主婦の方々に「子供に英語教えてるの？」って聞かれます。あまりにも沢山の人に聞かれるので、もうイヤになりますね。
Married to a British
My husband and I have similar characters, so
I haven't felt differences between us. The only
thing I can think of is that when we had a first
baby, I was told by a Japanese nursery center
that I should give the baby a bath every day,
which is not the case in England. We had a heavy
discussion about it, and we even called his
mother in England. Many people ask me questions
such as whether a non-Japanese husband helps
with housework. Everyone is different. I wish
people wouldn't look at us with stereotyped
images. Also, people ask me private questions
just because I'm married to a non-Japanese person.
I wish they would treat us as they treat other
Japanese.
イギリス人と結婚した女性
私と夫は同じ性格をしているので、違いを感じたことはないですね。あるとしたら、子供が生まれた頃、日本の育児所で子供を毎日お風呂に入れるように指導されたんですが、イギリスでは違うらしいんです。その事で揉めて、イギリスのお母さんに電話までしました。よく「外国人は家のこと、手伝ってくれるんでしょう？」というような質問をされますけど、人それぞれ違います。ステレオタイプで判断してほしくないですね。外国人と結婚しただけで、プライベートなことも質問されます。他の日本人と同じように接してほしい。
Married to an Indian
Before we married, he was more expressive about
his feelings of loving me. After the marriage,
he stopped being that way. Maybe it's shyness.
India is a culture where men dominate women,
so he acts haughty in front of people, just
like a traditional Japanese man in the old days.
But he holds to high morals in the marriage
relationship. He never talks to me about another
woman and never has a sexual relationship outside
of marriage. Also, he puts family as a high
priority. In India, a family-family relationship
is usual, so we meet our friends as a family.
Culturally, Indians love talking. It's great
that he talks about anything with me. Japanese
and Indian home discipline are very similar.
インド人 と結婚した女性
結婚前は愛情表現が多かったですね。結婚後は照れてしまうのか、なくなりました。男尊女卑の風潮が残る国なので、人前でも威張った態度をとりますね。一世代前の日本の男性みたい。でも、男女の関係はとても真面目ですよ。奥さんの前で他の女性の話は絶対にしないし、他の女性と性的なお付き合いはしません。それに家族をとても大事にします。インドでは家族単位でお付き合いをしますから、友達の家にも家族で行きます。文化的に彼らはおしゃべり好きなので、なんでも話してくれていいですよ。子供のしつけは日本とよく似てますね。
Married to a Frenchman
People generally kiss in public in France. My
husband wants to kiss me in public also. When
I say I don't want to be kissed in public because
this is Japan, he says that I don't love him.
We've married for about 10 years and this problem
is yet unsolved. What surprised me was that
parents don't sleep with children in France.
In France children sleep in their own room from
an early age. Even if the children are crying,
people say not to go to their room. When I visited
his parents in France, his mother strongly told
me not to go to the child's room.
フランス人と結婚した女性
フランスでは公衆の場でも普通にキスします。私の夫も公衆の場でキスをしたがるんです。ここは日本ですから、私が「嫌だ」と言うと「俺のことを嫌いになった」と言われてしまう。結婚して10年たつんですが、この問題は解決されていません。驚いたのは、フランスでは子供と添い寝をしないんです。小さい頃から違う部屋で寝るんですね。子供が泣いていても、部屋に行くなと言われます。彼の実家にいた時も、彼のお母さんから「行っては駄目！」と強く言われましたね。
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