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Dec. 2004, Xene #43
Solo Female Traveler
By Vanessa Fortyn |
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For a woman, the thought of traveling alone in a
foreign country can be daunting. We're always told
it's a dangerous world out there, and bad things
happen to women all the time. I've backpacked a
lot by myself and have a few nasty tales to tell.
One story comes to mind, not so much for the incident
itself, but more for what happened afterwards.
In Spain I was cornered on the ground floor of an
apartment building by a straight-razor-wielding
man. I was so terrified by that flashing blade that
I couldn't help but scream. It was no ordinary scream:
it was a piercing, blood curdling, supernatural
screeeeeeech that froze my assailant into shocked
immobility. He seemed to waver about slashing my
throat, but probably realized that if he did so,
he still wouldn't have enough time to steal my valuables.
Help had to be on the way after that yell from hell.
He quickly grabbed my necklace and dashed away,
leaving me quivering with fear. Moments later, some
worried tenants arrived and whisked me into their
home. I couldn't speak Spanish, and they couldn't
speak English, so they rang the British consulate.
(I have a British passport and had been working
in England.) The phone rang for a long time before
being answered by a woman with a plummy accent and
a hint of impatience. I was traveling by myself
and felt incredibly alone and afraid. I couldn't
think straight, and all I wanted was a calming voice.
However, I think I may have interrupted an afternoon
cocktail party or a siesta, so instead of being
given some comfort I was given a haughty lecture
on how I had brought this on myself because I was
traveling by myself.
I squeaked, "What should I do now?"
The woman audibly breathed in, gathered every bit
of colonial superiority in her being, and in a voice
that suggested she was speaking to a complete imbecile,
pronounced, "Go back to Australia!"
I was furious. I pictured her with lips pursed and
eyebrows raised in contempt, a martini in one hand,
and a group of friends calling her back to the sun-drenched
balcony.
"Listen," I spat out in a strained whisper
(my voice had all but disappeared because of the
scream), "I may be a woman, but I have every
right to travel in the world and to see things that
I've heard and read about without being in a state
of constant fear for my safety. Just because I am
a woman, why should I never travel by myself? And
why, when I am the victim of a crime, am I considered
the instigator, or even deserving of such a fate,
purely because I am a female by herself. Should
we women never go anywhere, never do anything? Do
you think that by merely being alone in the same
vicinity as a man, we're at fault because we're
tempting him to attack us? Go back to Australia?
Fuck that, lady! And fuck you for making me feel
bad. You go back to your cocktail party and I hope
you choke on a slice of chorizo!"
Utterly humbled, she murmured her apologies and
even invited me around for a glass of sangria. I
declined.
Okay, so my comeback diatribe only ever took
place in my head as I rode the train out of Madrid
and off to my next destination. I was, after all,
a mere 22 and lacked the eloquence and confidence
that, now in my 30's, I develop after about five
beers. This is not the only bad experience that
I have had on the road, but I've continued to
travel by myself around the world. Why? Because
traveling is a wonderful experience, and sometimes,
due to timing or money or inclination, it's difficult
to get any friends to come along. But if no one
can go with you, it needn't mean that you don't
go because for all the bad stories, there are
so many good ones.
Like the time an Egyptian family invited me to
dinner at their home in Giza. I was wearing cutoff
jeans and a T-shirt, and had dry, sun-bleached
hair. Anyway, after dinner, the women insisted
on dressing me up like an Egyptian woman. They
chose a fuchsia frock and coupled it with violently
hot pink lipstick. They tried to comb out my hair,
and succeeded in turning it into an electric frizzball.
They cooed with delight before taking me downstairs
to show the men. The men were so impressed they
took me on a walking tour of Giza to visit all
the relatives. At the first home we stopped at,
they offered me a cup of tea that was so strong
and so sweet I had to down it in one gulp so as
not to prolong the agony of drinking it.
"Oooh she loves tea!" They cried, and
promptly filled up my glass again. At every other
house the story was the same, but luckily the
women were there to touch up my lipstick.
There is also the time that I was on a crowded
ferry from Dar es Salaam in Tanzania to the island
of Zanzibar. The ferry was so packed that it was
riding low in the sea. I was chatting to some
Germans and we had our feet dangling over the
side, skimming the water. All of a sudden we saw
some grey fins rapidly approaching. "Sharks!"
we yelled, scrambling to draw up our legs. Meters
from us, two magnificent dolphins leapt out of
the water. They proceeded to swim with the ferry
for about an hour, so close we could almost touch
them.
I'm not the only woman to have backpacked alone
with great stories. I only had to look as far
as the Xene office for others.
Our Editor-in-Chief, Lynn Onozuka, was travelling
alone in London, and happened to get lost in a
quiet neighbourhood. She was standing at a bus
stop looking at a map trying to work out where
she was, when she noticed a dodgy character coming
straight for her.
"He was huge," she says, "with
long moppy hair and bushy beard, wearing a black
leather jacket and pants both covered in pins.
He was holding a bottle in a paper bag which obviously
was some kind of alcoholic beverage." Lynn
tightened her grip on her handbag avoided eye
contact. However, the man began to talk to her.
"He asked me if I was a tourist and if I
was lost. I said yes, and he asked me where I
was heading. I hesitated for a moment, but then
I told him the name of my hotel. He pointed at
the map where we were, and started working out
how to get to my hotel. Eventually, he walked
me to the subway station and as soon as we got
there, he turned away and walked back. It's really
not such a big thing or anything, but this kind
of small sweetness really touches you."
In Russia, Mariko, Xene Editorial Assistant, took
the weeklong journey on the Trans-Siberian Railway
from Vladivostok to Moscow. She shared a compartment
with three huge, menacing-looking Russian guys.
They were armed with handguns and automatic rifles.
Mariko had no language in common with them, but
nevertheless ended up hanging out with them.
"They turned out to be the loveliest guys,"
she says.
"Every mealtime, they shared their food with
me, urging me to eat more. The train journey was
really fun. All the people I met in Russia were
very nice. I had such a great time that I started
learning Russian back in Japan."
Mariko is a big fan of travelling solo, and her
most impressive travel tale happened in Stockholm,
Sweden. It was an event that changed her life.
In the kitchen of a youth hostel she met a Japanese
guy from Sapporo, who, a few years later, became
her husband.
x
These stories are nice to hear, but I would never
say that as a solo women traveler you can do anything
or go anywhere. Women alone have to exercise caution.
Avoid bad situations. Don't go to neighborhoods
that have bad reputations. Don't go out by yourself
at night unless the area is well lit and there
are lots of people around. Don't parade valuables
around or flash open your wallet as that can make
you more of a target. Do your homework. Find out
about the places you are going to. Speak to other
people, read books, find out what's dodgy and
what's okay. In Mexico City, taxi crime is rife
fine avoid taxis, or get a hotel or hostel to
call one for you.
Always be aware. You don't need to avoid talking
to all local people, but always be aware of your
surroundings and go with any gut feeling you have
about people who start up a conversation with
you. I believe most people are good, and are curious
about visitors from other countries, but if they
start behaving strangely or asking you to go with
them to somewhere you don't know, then walk away.
Be confident. Walk like you always know where
you are going, even if you don't. If you're in
a dodgy area, don't take your map out in the middle
of the street and gaze around helplessly. If you
look weak and confused, you look vulnerable, and
that can make you an easier prey. If you do get
lost, and you feel nervous, try going into a shop
or an office and ask someone to help. Business
people usually don't want any trouble.
Talk with other travelers. You can make new friends,
and they can tell you about places you still want
to visit. Don't be shy about striking up conversations
with people even if they're in groups. Friends
and couples traveling together have probably spent
a lot of time in each other's company and would
welcome someone new to talk to. Also you might
pick up some travel companions to share your experiences
with.
If you still don't feel comfortable with the idea
of traveling by yourself, then don't despair.
You can always join an adventure tour group. These
tours are just like backpacking. They take local
transport and offer a lot of independence, while
still giving you the safety of a group, organized
accommodation, and a tour leader. Try http://www.intrepidtravel.com/
for some great trips to out-of-the way places.
Women shouldn't be afraid to go see the world.
Bad things can happen, but it doesn't mean they
always will.
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